And evidence that he / she / it / we / they / you loves us!
Unless, of course, some day scientists tell us that coffee is bad for you. In which case, he / she / it / we / they / you is really, really mean and has a bad sense of humor. I mean, come on!
That’s right, curse you! You’ve made it so easy and convenient to make blog posts. Even on my homepage, there’s that nice little “New Post” button. I can just start typing without even leaving the page I’m on. And once I’ve finished my post, I can ignore my intuition that is screaming, “COPY THE TEXT” before I hit submit. Yep, I can just ignore that.
And then you had me.
Poof! It’s all gone. Countless seconds, multiple sips of coffee, part of a scone, and I’ve got nothing to show for hit. Desperately, I hit the ‘back’ key, the ‘forward’ key, the ‘back’ key once again. I try reopening closed tabs, checking my unpublished posts, crossing my fingers, but to no avail. It was too good to be true. You lured me with your promise of easy, convenient blogging and then dashed my hopes upon a merciless, impersonal sea of 1’s and 0’s. I had even used tags! You not only disappeared my words, you disappeared my tags. And if I’m using words like ‘disappeared’ now, it’s because you disappeared all the well grammar I hads, two.
So it’s back to the old way, the tried-and-true method of logging in, going to my Dashboard, and blogging the way God freaking intended us to blog.
No matter where you turn, the rhetoric is flying. As is the hyperbole, the flip-flopping, the promises, and the continual reference to America as ‘the greatest nation on earth’. Now before we go any further, let me just establish that this is not an anti-America blog, so before I get the famous, “Well, if you don’t like this country, get the hell out of here” line, let’s all be good and clear that I love this country, and I think it’s a great nation… I just hate that we call it that.
The problem with both sides calling us a great nation is that it is very easy to be complacent when you’re at the top. The top is the place for victors, for resting, relaxing, shopping, eating, getting fat… for being, here it comes… American! At least, that’s how we often perceive it. We’re king of the hill, so we can drop our guard and it’s smooth sailing from here on out.
But as any #1 sports team that has taken this attitude has soon discovered, #’s 2, 3, and all the way down to 157 are all working hard, training, and eager to steal that #1 title from our collective lazy ass. This is not the time for complacency. This is the time to work even harder.
But we don’t see it that way, myself included. Deep down, we know we are the best and that we will always be so. Our preachers, teachers, and politicians have drilled the idea into our heads… we are the greatest nation on earth, and that will never change. America is a finished, complete, glorious work of art. Let’s all stand back and enjoy her beauty.
What if, instead, we started calling her “a work in progress.”
America: a work in progress.
Rather than relaxing in the things we do right, suddenly the focus is on the things that need to be done. When we’re a work in progress, there are unfinished bits, gaping holes, parts being held on by duct-tape and crossed fingers, as well as many other unsightly areas. There are unemployed, the homeless, and the starving. There is corruption, hatred, and greed.
I can’t be complacent with a work in progress. There are things that I can do, things that I can choose to be responsible for. On a grad student’s income, there are still mouths that I can feed, lives that I can touch, and good that is within my power to bring about. This is my country, a great nation, I love it. And it’s a work in progress.
Yes, I know I shouldn’t, but it smells so good! Just one little taste?! Would that be so bad? A pinch? A nibble? Pretty please!
It has been pretty standard in labs since the middle ages: you don’t eat the chemicals. But I really struggle with this. Just yesterday, I created some light, fluffy, golden brown compounds that looked like meringue cupcakes. To make it worse, they smelled like really yummy lemon drops. Yes, it was a highly toxic heavy metal foam… but it smelled so good!!! Citric acid gave it that sharp lemony bite, while ethylene glycol gave it that alluring, tempting sweetness with undertones of vanilla and apricots. It was maddening! And writing about it is just making it worse. Now I’m salivating and thinking wistfully that I had some here. Just a little pinch… a little taste…
Of course, once the urge starts, it doesn’t stop. My curiosity has been roused. Even the things that don’t necessarily smell tasty, still have these peculiar, unique aromas that call to me. Like aluminum nitrate hexahydrate. It’s got a sharp, metallic fragrance that fills the imagination with thoughts of robotic cuisine. And it’s hygroscopic! Which means it will melt like candy in your mouth! Oh, the torture!
And knowing the chemistry behind these compounds just makes it worse. “Oh, copper oxide? Why, it’s just copper atoms and oxygen atoms, that can’t be too bad.”
Or, “Cyanide? Why it’s just a little carbon and nitrogen… That can’t be too bad.” Knowing the chemistry really doesn’t help. Everything seems so innocent. These big, scary chemicals look so colorful and sweet when you hold them in your hands. I know how they’re made, I even know that the body needs trace amounts of certain ones, I might actually be making myself more healthy by licking the weighing paper after I’m done…
Fortunately, I’ve been well-trained. I don’t eat the heavy metal oxides, I don’t sip from the ethanol container, and I don’t smoke around the flammable cabinet. I don’t smoke at all actually, but if I did, it wouldn’t be around the flammable cabinet. Instead, I suffer as polymerizing organics make my lab smell like a candy shop. I suffer.
And I dream about lemon drops.
Move in progress! Everything’s not gone, it just needs to be unpacked. This cowpoke is headed to greener pastures. Did I really just call myself a cowpoke? Yes, damn it, yes I did. I’m saddling up and galloping away from my old host and their endless stream of unfortunate bovine humor. I’m tired of stepping in… well, you get the idea.
So it’s on to wordpress.com hosting. It’s a new format, and I’m losing my plugins, but there’s a big, bold horizon out there and the air smells clean. Meanwhile, I’m still in the lab, cooking up some tasty science, and soon we’ll be back, serving up quantum dots with our patented alchemical dressing.
Enjoy!
Cooking with sulfur 